Don't Everybody Call Me All At Once...!

Whoa. After a month of no calls, no work and plenty of rejection, this sure is a change. For the better.

First I started working on an indie feature film. This is a super rush job for now since they want to submit the 1st draft to a festival by March 1st. So now the average rate of composing is not 1 minute a day...more like 4-5 minutes. But I'll have time to fine tune it and make changes after that...so that's good.

Then there's a student short which I will start working on this weekend. Will be meeting the director later this week. So that's cool.

Yesterday, I also got a call back from a small indie production company that I interviewed at last week. They want me to join their team. Yay! It's unpaid, but from what they were telling me, lots of chances for exposure. They do stuff like documentaries and segments on specific people or topics...and it gets aired on TV or Cable. :) Two thumbs up.

THEN....then there's Ralph's. Hahaha. Yeah, I was so desperate work for I applied online at all the nearby grocery stores and book stores and all. They have 2 job openings at the Ralph's in Century City, which is about 15 minutes from my place. So will be meeting the store manager tomorrow too.

So now...after getting my ass slammed at by so many closing doors, I'M kicking ass. Hyuk hyuk.

Homemade gifts

It's 4:53 am. And I can't sleep. So as usual, I started browsing on the net. Since Valentine's Day is around the corner, I started to look for ideas on what to give TJ. And I happened to bump into this page...Loving You.com. It was just ideas of homemade gifts that people made for their other halfs.

...I guess I am what-you-might-call a sappy person. I like stuff like these...it may be corny, but it's meaningful. Sweet. But it's kinda funny really. All these years...I never did anything like that for my ex boyfriends. No homemade cards, or homemade gifts. No gifts. I always ended up in relationships where...you just don't do stuff like that. Be it Valentine's Day...or birthdays...or Christmas...Those days were just...you know, like any other day. Not that important. We usually ended up somehow agreeing that we didn't have to get the other person anything for those 'special' occasions...

On the other hand, reading those posts on the website reminded me of someone. Not a boyfriend, but rather, a really really good girl friend. When I was back in college, I made a really close friend. Heh. Actually, we didn't really start off on the right foot. We had pretty bad first impressions on the other person. I thought she was an obnoxious, stuck up spoilt brat....and she thought I was a snooty high class rich girl. Heh. Boy were we wrong!

We turned out to be really close...inseparable, some might say. When we were still living in the dorm, everybody knew that...if you see one of us, the other is not far from sight. We always went to class together...had lunch and dinner together....and after dinner, we would talk and talk and talk and talk somemore. What we talked about...everything. From school, to guys...to dorm gossip...everything under the sun.

Even after we moved out...and studied different majors...we still managed to find time to talk...sometimes we would talk all through the night, and just go for class the next morning. Haha. Yea...it was super hard to keep our eyes open. Then after a while...we started to do more things on our own. We started making new friends...started heading toward different paths...but she somehow always showed me that she still cared.

Sometimes, in the morning...I would find a simple note on my table...telling me to have a great day in school today. Or a card with silly drawings and silly messages. (She was a great artist by the way) But those cards sure made my day. It made going through a whole long day of classes just that little bit better. Or it would make me laugh whenever I think about it. She once drew me a cartoon of me...holding the violin...and the violin was complaining about the way I played it. (Yes, I'm a lousy violinist) Till today, it never fails to make me smile whenever I think about it.

I remember once, I wanted to make her a homemade card for her birthday. I knew she liked tulips...and I just happen to have this tulip card in one of my DIY books. So off I went to buy paper, glue and all that DIY stuff. I tried to follow the instructions exactly...but well, I guess I kinda suck when it comes to arts. Haha. It started turning out all funny...and different...so I had to improvise. I was kinda embarassed when I gave it to her...but she told me she liked it. :) It actually felt really good making somebody a gift rather than buying it...

But, I don't think I have done anything homemade since then. Maybe this Valentine's day will be a fresh start. Hmm. We'll see won't we...

God Will Never Quit

Just when I was feeling discouraged, I got this in my email...God sure does works in mysterious ways...


*God Will Never Quit*

*One day I decided to quit... I quit my job, my relationship, my
spirituality... I wanted to quit my life.*

*I went to the woods to have one last talk with God. "God", I said.
"Can you give me one good reason not to quit?" His answer surprised
me... *

*"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"*

*"Yes", I replied.*

*"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care
of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew
from the earth. It's brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing
came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the
second year the fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again,
nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo."
He said.*

*"In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I
would not quit. In year four, again, there was nothing from the
bamboo seed. I would not quit." He said.*

*"Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.
Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant... But
just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had
spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and
gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my
creations a challenge it could not handle." He said to me.*

*"Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been
struggling,
you have actually been growing roots?"*

*"I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you."*

*"Don't compare yourself to others." He said. "The bamboo had a
different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest
beautiful."*

*"Your time will come", God said to me. "You will rise high"*

*"How high should I rise?" I asked.*

*"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.*

*"As high as it can?" I questioned**

*"Yes, He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."*

How Do You Handle Rejction?

Gee. Rejection is always so hard to swallow. I met up with this composer today, who was looking for assistants. In a nutshell, the type of music I write is probably not the type he's interested in. But well, he said he'll keep in touch etc etc. So that's rejection #1.

Just 5 minutes ago, I checked my mail...and I received a mail from Universal. So, yup. You got it right. They hired somebody else. So 2nd rejection of the day.

I even applied at my old dorm to be an RA (residence advisor), but I think they're most probably looking for someone who can work there during the weekdays...and probably someone who lives there. So I wonder will that be rejection #3?

Yes, I am feeling rather discouraged at the moment. In fact, this afternoon, I was wondering...am I doing the right thing here? Should I even stay on? But I know that I shouldn't give up. And that I should try 10 times harder. So try harder I shall...and just hope for the best.

Heh. TJ says I need to toughen up. I think he's right.

Tell me...how do you handle rejection?